November 2020: Lingering Past

'How do we bring 'closure' to those times that still, perhaps even after many years, continue to feel uncomfortable?

Where to go to heal

To wash with kindness

The lingering past?

To look safely, circle

Name, understand

See perspectives;

Until acceptance says

‘It is what it is,

And it is past’.

time to move on

There are phases, moments, memories that do not know when to become the past, that their time is done, who keep talking, distracting and carrying on. Despite heavy hints, ignoring, avoiding (maybe raging, tears and shouting) still they are there, perhaps years later. How to settle these revenants?

take 5

Get absolutely safe - comfortable in space (a country walk, an easy chair, warm bath) and bring the inside to peace, detachment, confidence. Contemplate the question ‘what in the past is unresolved in my life’? Just observe, don’t get caught up, simply note what comes to mind.

…and an experiment!

In a really safe space and frame of mind, return to a moment or phase from the past that remains anxious, tender, bigger than it should be. Observe, don’t engage, don’t get caught up. Don’t judge anyone (including yourself). Whatever the wrongs or loss - what can you learn? Understand, see other points of view. Accept that it happened and allow it to slip through your fingers, into the past.

quotes…

• “Letting go is hard, holding on is harder” unknown

• “The past cannot be changed, forgotten, edited, or erased. It can only be accepted.” unknown

• “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself” Tony Robbins

Roddy xo

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Roddy Bray is an anthropologist, speaker & facilitator who leads the ‘Being for Beginners’ workshops at the University of Oxford and beyond. Contact Roddy:  thrive@antidotecafe.com

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